Homosexuals and Marriage

By David Nieting, Minnetonka, Minnesota

Why I changed my views on Gay Lifestyles. 

I grew up Lutheran Church Missouri Synod.  We were not an overly conservative church in my eyes, but we were not…Presbyterian.  ; ) 

I always believed God created Adam and Eve, and not Adam and Steve.  This was a view I held for a long time.  It was bolstered by the way I was grossed out (and still am to an extent) when I thought about gay sex.  Gay sex, creepy, gross.  I also could not condone the in your face flamboyancy that was pushed on us, especially when you would see news of gay rallies and such.  Celebrations of debauchery were just too much.  On top of that there are verses in the Bible that call it an abomination.  God would rather forgive you for a heinous act (see thief on the cross) than having gay sex <shudders>. 

Then lo and behold we had a gay organist come into our church.  The Pastors obviously did not know, I had suspicions, but I know other effeminate organists that are straight.  We became friends, and I was allowed his confidence.  I found that James had a passion for the Lord.  As he gave me stories of his growing up I began to see that he had always been gay.  Never had a life event that “turned” him.  He would rather practice piano than run in the street playing games.   James was not a flamboyant gay man, he didn’t speak with an overly exaggerated lisp.  I never thought he was ever checking me out either.  (When I finally asked about that he said I wasn’t his type.  I was crushed….I’m pretty, right?  And, I’m a man) 

I have a difficult time with the preaching that he is hellbound.  He is a confessional sinner same as the rest of us.  The only thing he did not have a problem with was that he was gay.  He had reconciled himself to his faith in the saving grace of God through our Lord Jesus.  He also knew without a doubt that he had been born that way, being one of the boys that at an early age realized he was not checking out girls when other boys were.  That is a pretty awful thing to happen to a young boy, it pretty much guarantees you were going to be beat-up and ostracized.  I had a friend once that would go into gay bars with weapons only to bloody the gay men for no other reason than that they were gay. 

So what changed for me? 

I realized that a part of why I cannot accept the gay sex act is that I AM NOT GAY.  I don’t want you to think I ponder on this one but the funny thing is I don’t mind the thought of Lesbian sex.  It doesn’t give me the same shudder as thinking of gay men.  However in talking openly with my daughter she is the exact opposite.  She shudders at Lesbian sex, and can care less about gay men.  This is another proof of our just being heterosexual.  I also realized that sex is a big deal to us in our life for a relatively short time.  I was not sexually active until I got married, but an average could say people would start being sexually active around 20.  It stays that way until hopefully 50, and better if longer, but it falls off a bit with age.  That said, the time spent living actually engaged in sex compared to your entire life is relatively minuscule.  That means that you are being condemned to damnation for eternity for something that was a relatively minuscule part of your life.   

But what about what the Bible says? 

I had to work on this one a long time.  I started to wonder why there are two different types of Bible scholars.  They both read Latin, Hebrew and Greek, and they both are learned trained smart men.  Yet one accepts homosexual lifestyles and another declares it is an abomination.  It’s IN THERE after all, right in black and white.   

Lets start with Sodom and Gomorrah.  That is one of the first stories that tends to point to homosexuality as being very wrong.  We can look at Ezekeiel 16:49-50:“Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy. They were haughty and did detestable things before me. Therefore I did away with them as you have seen.” God states clearly that he destroyed Sodom’s sins because of their pride, their excess of food while the poor and needy suffered; sexual activity is not even mentioned. 

I am sure the sex of Sodom was not just gay sex, it was orgy sex.   

This is getting longer than I anticipated… 

If we are to point to just the texts that refer to the act of homosexual sex, then we also need to gouge out our eyes.  Also men that have been injured, or that have had testicles removed due to cancer also would still fall under the abomination “code”.  Men that are not Manly men also fall in this group.  Where is the line drawn?   

I went to Paul.  Paul speaks of gay sex.  But Paul used words that were not typical of normal homosexuality.  The words of Paul were used in the description of the Sex Temples in Rome where young men were prostituted.  The Romans believed that sex with a boy would keep you viral.  Paul said that was wrong, and I agree.  Raping a young girl is wrong.  Raping a young boy is just as wrong.  Showing your domination by an act made to demoralized, and degenerate you is wrong.  The acts were not acts of love.  They were acts of dominance and hate.  Definitely wrong.   

I listened to Jesus.  There is not a text where Jesus actually condemns Homosexuals. 

So up to this point I had mixed feelings.  I finally got it when the marriage thing came up.  They were not doing a flamboyant act.  They wanted the legal protection that other couples were given.  They wanted to have a bond that showed their love for each other. Real true love, better than many heterosexuals ever experience.  Jesus never condemned love, he was all for it.  Gay couples wanted to be allowed to be truly married in a church, and given God’s blessing in a committed loving monogamous relationship.  It has nothing to do with sex, it’s all about love.  The sex is simply the way their love is expressed, and that is no different  from us and why we do the same.